Metaphysics in Chocolate.

The past few months have been the craziest and busiest months of my life. While everyone was recovering and getting back to the grind from the festive season, work was cracking the whip all through Valentine's Day and Easter. After the crazy season subsided, I found myself sitting with a friend of mine discussing life. Mostly over the fact that we are all so busy nowadays that we just accept and tolerate things because we start to believe that it is just a part of life.

And I agree. Life IS hard; juggling interpersonal relationships, family, work, love and taking care of yourself is really tricky especially when you try to keep things on a balance. You just can't make everyone happy and a lot of times there are so many sacrifices that you have to make in order to make things work. You know how the saying goes "Some things got to give"?  Well, they really do and the people who really want to be part of your life - they tend to stay. 

Anyway as the conversation went on, one thing that really struck me in our conversation was when he stated that "I guess that's just how work is, no one is ever really happy with work and I haven't met one person who can honestly say they love their job". 

But the thing is, I do. I love my job with all of our ups and downs and frustrations and the demands and sacrifices I have to make. Chocolates taught me a new outlook in life  and just like Fernando Pessoa said, "There's no metaphysics in earth like chocolates". But then again I guess if you make stuff like these for a living, you'd love your job too.

Honesty is the best policy.

If there was anything significant that I've learned in the past 3 months that I have been working in Kakawa Chocolates, it's being honest with food. With all the new fancy food that has been coming out lately, it's hard to find food lately that hasn't been defined or labelled in some sort of fancy schmancy twang only to be disappointed with the actual execution.

Now, to be fair I have really high expectations when it comes to food and desserts. One of my close friends have actually labelled me a "food wanker" because I have this really irritating habit of trying to change or adding something to food whenever I order to make it "better". Either that or it's just really difficult now to really "wow" me with the food or it takes me forever to actually find something that I like in the menu. My excuse for that is because I work in an industry where having a food-wankerish palate is in my job description - it lies in the territory. I have to know what's good, great and what works together.

That being said, although my standards have not really dropped my understanding of food has definitely changed. I've learnt that you don't need fancy, exotic and complicated combinations to make food interesting. Sometimes the simpler the food is, the better it is. If the food is executed right, changes and tweaks don't have to be made that's why it is imperative that basics have to be grasped and mastered and other techniques following that.

A Beautiful Spring Wedding ...

Even on a busy schedule working almost 11 hour days there are some things that you just cannot help but be a part of. 

On the 8th of September, in a beautiful Sydney Spring day my beautiful friend Naima Farah married Demetri Tilliris - and as a 3 yr old promise made with the bride... I will be making her wedding cake. During this time once in a while, one cannot help but think about love ... 

Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Tilliris! 

Raspberry Red Velvet & Dark Chocolate Layer Cake with White Chocolate Rosewater Buttercream

Photographs courtesy of Vanessa Farah and Janice Razon 

Chasing the dream...

Depression hit hard as soon as I got back to Sydney. I guess Melbourne always had that effect on me or any kind of holiday that I come from on that matter. I don't know what it is about Sydney that just make people so hard hearted and cold. Other people might disagree but Sydney has definitely changed like it has lost a part of it's soul, for me anyway.

I was just about to give up on being a Pastry Chef and already considering other alternatives when I stumbled upon this ad looking for an apprentice Chocolatier. And it was all alarm bells a-ringing and more. Could this be a sign? And before you know it, I scored an interview the following day, a trial the following week and the job days later. It was probably one of the best days of my life!

It was nothing like I have ever imagined. It's a lot of hard work, training and more training. Working with chocolates required more than talent, it required a lot of patience, skill, a lot of love and a whole lot of passion. For the first time in my life I actually have to work for something, work really hard for something. It required a lot of humbling down and a lot of motivation to keep myself going.

A dear friend told me something once which I never really understood at the time- "It's important not to get ahead of yourself. Be humble and never think you are better than what you think you are."  And if you don't either I suggest you work with chocolates. Because one day you'd think you can temper perfectly and the next day you might not be able to. Chocolates require a lot of trust, intuition. instinct and it involves a whole lot of science. I definitely understand what she meant now and I would take it with me wherever I go, especially working in an industry where ego always tend to over-exceed talent.

So here I go one step at a time to reaching the wonderful dream..

White chocolate lotus 

Inspiration from the other city...

As Sydney wasn't playing very nice in all it's buzzing glory, I decided to have a holiday to good ol' Melbourne town. Everyone didn't think it was such a good idea to splurge on a holiday seeing that I wasn't really earning money, but I did. The traveller in me have always thought that it's essential to get away from the normal life every now and again just to gain a fresh new perspective. And so I went, one solid week and Melbourne has worked it's charms.

Alley ways and more alley ways of interesting art, glorious hole in a wall cafes with absolutely beautiful coffees and amazing food and inspirational design aesthetics from Degraves lave to Bourke st mall to Hardware lane just transports you to another world. It's exactly the kind of fresh air that I needed. It was incredibly good for the soul.

In my usual city exploring, I was mentally going through a journey as well... looking at different ways to achieve my dreams and my goals and to rise above the deep end of the pool. And as I walked through the Victorian inspired architectures of their galleries I stumbled upon an interesting sight that is, Koko Black. I ventured in to find a very french designed interior filled with damask feature walls and chefs moulding and demoulding chocolates by the window and warm smiles from the hosts. It was as if I had found my calling.

Chocolatier sprung to mind.

It was also in Koko Black that I found myself entranced in the most beautiful piece of choux that I have ever had in my life. 

A chocolate choux pastry filled with vanilla bean creme patissier and raspberry coulis.

And as soon as I got back from Sydney, I couldn't help but recreate the wonderful pastry myself! 

Unemployment sucks... or does it?

A week after resigning from work, I'd realised that it probably wasn't one of the smartest decisions I have made. I was unemployed and doing absolutely nothing and was making a mess out of my life or at least I thought I was in a rut. I was lost out of my wits as to what exactly I'm going to focus all my energies on. Good thing I have friends who continually make a productive use out of me, giving me cake orders and offering some sick ass collaboration with cake works.


Two weeks into unemployment and there is no rest for the wicked.

1920s Cabaret Cake Collaboration with Charlie

Tiffany Cake Box Collaboration with Charlie

Lemon Meringue Pie 

French Earl Grey Mini Tarts

Banoffee Pies with Maggie 

Boom Box Piping Skills 

Boom Box Cake Collaboration with Charlie and Kimmy 

Bittersweet Endings..

All good things come to an end... at least that's how the saying goes.

I had been working in David Jones for a good three years or so this year and I can definitely say that it has been one of the formative years of my life. It is there that I was continually exposed to food and reaffirmed my love for fine things. It is there that I had met my closest friends that have continually made an impact in my life. It is the place where I found myself and gained confidence in myself and I owe a lot to it because I wouldn't be where I am now if it wasn't for that. But it's also a place where you could get easily comfortable in and stuck. 

As a budding pâtissier, comfortable and stuck are words that couldn't ever be in my vocabulary. I'm continually in a pursuit of a challenge to make myself better and continually wanting to expand my horizons. Essentially, I am a dreamer - dreaming of the almost impossible and big, big aspirations. It was increasingly frustrating for me to think that my life was going nowhere and a friend's advice made it even more concrete that life will turn out once I leave. Somewhere along the way .. I just had to jump. 

                            

So as to bid you farewell. 

French Earl Grey and Lavender Macarons